1. |
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Save the World
by Dr. Lindyke
===========
I wish I had a day off
I wish I had some time to myself
Maybe I could kick my feet up
Maybe I could take a book off the shelf
Maybe I could watch some TV
Maybe I could watch a movie all the way through
I'd like to stop and write some poetry
I know a million things that I'd rather do ---
But I've got to save the world
But didn't I save the world yesterday?
I've got to save the world
I thought I saved the world yesterday!
But no!
Some loony made a death ray
Some other fool is trying to freeze D.C.
Some villain wants everything his own way
Some other only wants a piece of me
Maybe I should've listened to my poppa
Maybe helped the family business grow
'stead of playing universal copper
'stead of trying to vanquish some super foe...
[Instrumental]
Then I realize I'd be dead with everybody else
If I didn't stick my neck out
If I didn't take a chance
If I didn't own the problem
If I didn't dance the dance
We'd be cinders on a cinder
We'd be blood upon a lance ---
So I'm going to save the world
Though I saved the world yesterday
I've got to save the world
Got to save the world
'Cause nobody else is gonna do it, I might as well get to it
Gonna save the world
Though I saved the world yesterday
I've got to save the world
Got to save the world ...
'Cause nobody else is gonna do it, I might as well get to it
I've got to save the world
Got to save the world ...
I've got to save the world
Got to save the world ...
I've got to save the world
Got to save the world ...
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2. |
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Minutes and Hours
Lyrics by William Hoover
[introduction, 6/4 time]
[chorus, ¾ time]
Minutes and hours keep me awake
Minutes and hours allow me to say
That which is ours shall never fade
These minutes and hours at the end of my day.
[verse, 4/4 time]
Midnights bring showers as the sun falls away
Lightning, like fire, produces, let's say
Something like flowers, a beauty this night
In minutes and hours may shed their last light.
[instrumental bridge, 6/4 time]
[chorus, ¾ time]
Minutes and hours know I'm a friend.
Kings and those higher say let's begin
Finished, not tired, all things must end
Together acquired, as it is, not has been.
[verse, 4/4 time]
Sweet and yet sour are the times of this life
Bold, sometimes coward, I laugh to defy
Minutes and hours, a long lost romance
This time is ours, if only by chance
[chorus, ¾ time]
Minutes and hours keep me awake
Minutes and hours allow me to say
That which is ours shall never fade
These minutes and hours at the end of the day.
[instrumental, 6/4 time, with 4/4 in the final 3 measures]
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3. |
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A SPECIAL DAY
-------------------
She has angel eyes
You know, the kind that draw you in
Of the deepest ocean blue
And I realize
As I look at her face and her careless grin
She gets those things from you
A year from now
A year from then
A cake of bittersweet
I promise now, I will find a way
To make this day a special day
Just like the way I know you'd want it to be
In the years ahead
There will be things she's going to need to know
I don't know what I'm going to do
I always thought we'd see her
Grow and love and someday wed
I never thought it would be without you
A year from now
A year from then
A cake of bittersweet
I don't know how, but I will find a way
To make this day
A special day
Just like the way
I know you'd want it to be
This day …
A Special Day …
Just like we dreamed it would be.
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4. |
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LIBERTY - WISH YOU WERE HERE
by Dr. Lindyke and Denise Hudson
Lady Liberty (outgoing phone message):
--------------------------------------------------
"Greetings! You’ve reached Lady Liberty’s Lair. I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m off saving the populace from the dastardly clutches of random evildoers. But if you’ll leave your name, number, and a brief message – I’ll call you back as soon as justice has been restored. Have a SUPER day!”
FIRST VOICEMAIL (spoken)
----------------------------------
“Hello, Liberty. This is your nemesis, Baron von Badass. I'm calling to inform you that I'll be on holiday this month, and I'm taking my minions with me. so if you haven't already made plans, now's the time. Oh, I know you'll miss me, but don't worry... I'll check in from time to time."
LIBERTY
----------
How rude! But what do I expect??
He always does things his way.
He’s gonna say, what he’s gonna say
So while he’s away, I’ll take some time for me
I'll drink lots of ice tea, take some bubble baths
Maybe work on my tan
read a book or three …
Let my hair down, go out on the town
Maybe eat something fattening
I’ll just clock out for now, take a little home vacation
Cuz who needs him? ... that supervillan of a man,
... that supervillian of a man ...
BARON VON BADASS
(poorly faking a French accent)
(PARIS - bal musette)
---------------
Remember that day in Paris
When we met on the Champs Elysee?
On the Arc de Triomphe, the scorch marks are still visible.
Though later we found them to be inadmissible
When you couldn't quite pin them on me
(ah, but you tried!)
The City of Lights,
Most romantic at night,
Such amazing museums,
You really must see them
But now I must be on my way
Bon jour, have a beautiful day.
LIBERTY
----------
I remember our little French scene
I would call you delusional
And yes I feel quite attitudinal
cuz it's hot and it's boring
and I wish you were back
don't take it that way i don't miss you, okay?
It's just that I'm alphabetizing my spice rack
And I certainly miss kicking your butt
But I scour the news for something to do
finished three crosswords, my toenails are flawless
I'd kill for a tragedy or two
BARON VON BADASS
PAMPLONA (flamenco)
-------------------
As I ran with the bulls, my machismo was apparent
The streets of Pamplona were streaked with blood and fear
The most exciting thing that I have ever done
I felt that I had wings as I began to run
And now and then, my dear,
I'm wishing you were here
In sultry, sunny Spain
But then again
I'm enjoying my privacy
(if you know what I mean)
LIBERTY
----------
You must be kidding me with that crap, mi amor
You gotta give it a rest, señor
Still I gotta admit I was pretty bored before..
Cuz I've been pulling weeds, and doing good deeds
There ain't any kittens in any trees
There's no crime as far as the eye can see
But you know ...
There's a new bank down the street
That you'd find kinda interesting
I wonder what you'd do with that kinda thing ...
BARON VON BADASS
JAMAICA (reggae)
--------------------------
In the sand, beneath the sun
By the waters, crystal blue
With my Margarite I
Lay 'neath the palms thinking of you
A bikini top lay limp
And empty by my side
Perhaps it will find its owner
Before it's washed out by the tide.
O-M-G this has to be
The finest place I've ever been
In the sunlight you can see
To the bottom of the sea
Take my advice, don't think twice
Try the sugar and the spice
Yes, the beaches here are nice
In Jamaica
Yes, I'm think of you here
In Jamaica
LIBERTY
----------
When you’re gone
I enjoy my self in a daze
I sleep late, I stay in bed and have my cake and eat it too
But when you’re gone I don't know what to do
There’s too much time
I start to think
There's too much on my mind
I start to justify
I think about the credit crisis
I polish all my doorknobs to a shine
And while my toenails dry
I begin to hatch a plan so when you get back
it won't be as quiet
as you thought you might find it ...
BARON VON BADASS
NEW ORLEANS (zydeco)
--------------------
[background song]
Down in Louisiana
Down in the Bayou
There lives my baby and my baby's gonna try you
On. My baby's gonna try you on.
Yes, she knows her way around
And she definitely wants to try you on.
[drunken voiceover]
Hello, Liberty?
Liberty! This party is amazing!
Wooo! I'm having the best time EVER!
Look... I might not be back for another week or two
so why don't you just visit some sick orphans or do whatever it is you do for fun, eh? Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
Got to go... PARTY CALLS! Wooooo!
[abruptly ends as the phone hangs up and dial tone]
LIBERTY
----------
Really.. Really? A drunk dial … …. whatEVER…..
I don’t care about it you’re a sad sack of a man
So Laissez les Bontemps roulez…
You just have your day of it
Guess what… I’ll get away with it,
I’ll take everything
I won’t have to pay for it
And while your sticky fingers were in the beignets
Mine were a’planning my triumphant day of debut
Into my world of organized crime
I’ll excel at it too So much better than you
I will take everything, and I will get my way
I got the tricks of the trade
I’ll take everything
This is my lucky day So you just stay away
I’ll take everything
Like a real tiny small ninja I’ll make my escape
I got a tete a tete with the bank
I’ll take everything
BARON VON BADASS and LIBERTY
------------------------------------------
Liberty! You've gone too far! You've taken what is mine
The gold is nothing... but my reputation as the King of Crime
This is MY town! This is MY turf! You are NOTHING without me!
If you want to play the villain game, perhaps you should pay the fee!
Will you still love the excitement in a cell of five by ten?
With a regemented schedule... how will you feel then?
And it will be I, BARON VON BADASS, there to save the day
To clap your hands in irons and sequester you away
I will bring you to justice! I will bring you to justice.....!
And if I can place this telephone call
If you can hear my voice at all
If your brain can hold a thought, consider this...
I know where you live.
I know where you live!
|
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5. |
Photo Finish
03:32
|
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PHOTO FINISH
wmh 7.26.11
Two old horses have run the race
Both aging but undiminished
A little rusty, and lost of some spark
But crossing the line in a photo finish
I remember the past days like they are tomorrow
As fresh as a meadow in spring
Put out to pasture - no regrets and no sorrow
Looking forward to the promise the future would bring
Broken eyed - but not blind
Both victims of the ages and sun
But classic things never go out of style
They just get recycled around and return
Mettle or metal, which wins the battle
Relics of the past, neither one with the will to survive
Except into memories and fantasy
And the history of what walks or what rides
One dies a pauper- one retires to a museum
There’re some who would say they’re the same
Each of them sent to his own mausoleum
Never again to run on the tracks of the game
Broken eyed - but not blind
Both victims of the ages and sun
But classic things never go out of style
They just get recycled around and return
|
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6. |
||||
No Ordinary Day
by Dr Lindyke
I've thought of you a million times
I think you've never left my mind
And now here on Saint Valentine's
You're there again
I picture you as there with me
On the sands of a shore of a distant sea
Far from this boring destiny
We're living in
Any other day
I second guess and fumble
What I want to say
And find it hard to start
But now's a time
Of roses red and holidays
And "PLEASE BE MINE"
On Conversation Hearts
So I pretend it's not some ordinary day
Where you won't look my way
And I --
Once again find myself tongue-tied
And I must believe
Though I find it very hard
If I send you this card
You'll read it
And fondly think of me...
Then maybe...
We can meet each other
Maybe we'll go out together
Maybe we'll find common ground together...
(shrugs) It could happen
I picture you as there with me
On the sands of a shore of a distant sea
Far from this boring destiny
We're living in
And through the lonely doldrums
You're a gentle breeze blowing
Smiling like you're knowing
Many secrets unrevealed
And I don't understand
How you got me going
And your quiet cool
Reaction to it all
So I pretend it's not some ordinary day
Where you won't look my way
And I --
Once again find myself tongue-tied
And I must believe
Though I find it very hard
If I send you this card
You'll read it
And fondly think of me...
Then maybe...
We can love each other
Maybe we'll move in together
Maybe we'll find happiness forever...
(shrugs) It could happen
|
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7. |
Mayan Holiday
02:33
|
|||
I made fun of them, too
Just like you
When they said the end was coming soon
The celestial clock
Ran out of room on the rock
It's as simple as two plus two
Now, I'm a skeptical geek
Not some gullible freak
I've got no room for that New Age woo...
So imagine my surprise
When I looked at the skies
And saw a planetary bullet aimed right between my eyes...
[chorus]
Well, I'm gonna close shop at a quarter to five
I'm gonna get drunk
Gonna celebrate bein' alive
I'm gonna get crazy, maybe grab me a girl
And feel the passion rockin' at the end of the world...
I'm gonna grab me a beer and have me some fun
Until the clock strikes twelve on December 21
I'm gonna party my life away
On a Mayan Holiday
I've got a 401K
Tucked away
I thought that I was really smart
I could've bought me a boat
A house on the beach
Or a Formula racing car
Maybe indulge in a vice
Yeah, that sounds nice
Now that we know there's no consequence
Meanwhile on Channel Nine
The Bad Astronomy guy
Is shrugging at the camera
As Humanity ends...
[repeat chorus]
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8. |
||||
====================
Saturday night,
More anxious than annoyed
Sitting on pins and needles,
Staring at my Droid
Waiting for the tweet
To tell me when and where
To find where the place where songsters meet
And face my challenge there.
I read the post, it's W.T.F.
My comfort zone is a burden, not a gift
Rocky Balboa and the Karate Kid...
I've gotta pump up like they did!
Now it's my time to go
Spin vinyl into gold
I've got just eight short days
And the real world in the way
But it's my time to shine
And give you something new
I'm gonna spin a tune for you!
Gotta get through...
Gotta be in Spintown by the time the clock strikes zero...
Or all that's left of me is gonna be my shadow...
I read the post, it's W.T.F.
My comfort zone is a burden, not a gift
Eye of the Tiger, a Real American...
I've got to do the best I can!
Now it's my time to go
Spin vinyl into gold
I've got just eight short days
And the real world in the way
But it's my time to shine
And give you something new
I'm gonna spin a tune for you!
Now it's my time to go
Spin vinyl into gold
I've got just eight short days
And the real world in the way
But it's my time to shine
And give you something new
I'm gonna spin a tune for you!
A Tune for You....
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9. |
Monastic Workout
02:10
|
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Lyrics (Latin)
==========
Dolor et corporis infirmitate.
Ego sum imperfecti.
Deo me vires exercere
Deo me vires perseverare
Lorem me perfectioris in conspectu tuo.
Ubi tempus erit mihi
Panem quotidianum.
Lorem fame pereant,
Ego comedent
equum.
Sum defessus satis mori.
Ego accubare hic moriar.
Vos me levare.
Et me currere.
Et me natare.
Et me salire.
Tunc me gerunt haec stolis maledictus.
Volo ad gerunt
BRACCIS
Ego trucidare cibum
IN VENERIS
Vos me levare.
Et me currere.
Et me natare.
Et me salire.
------------------------
contrapunctum:
------------------------
Gloria Patri
Gloria Fili
Spiritu Sancti
Gloria Maria
Gloria Deo
Gloria Deo
===============================
English Translation
===============================
(Wracked with) pain and weakness of the body.
I am an imperfect being.
God give me strength to exercise
God give me strength to persevere
Please make me more perfect in thy sight.
Soon it will be time for lunch.
I'm hungry enough to eat a horse!
I'm tired enough to die.
I'm going to lie down here and die!
You lift me up.
And make me run.
And make me swim.
And make me leap.
Then I wear these damned robes.
And wish I had
PANTS!
I would kill for meat
on Friday!
You lift me up.
And make me run.
And make me swim.
And make me leap.
------------------------
The counterpoint:
------------------------
Glory to the Father
Glory to the Son,
The Holy Spirit
Glory to Mary
Glory to God
Glory to God!
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10. |
Mr. Nobody
06:15
|
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The script and full song bio is available at http://music.cratchit.org/2012/07/mr-nobody.html
WILLIAM
I'm a missing person reported
Last seen in a Photoshopped frame
Though no one’s seen my face
They all seem to know my name
The imaginary alter ego
Of your imaginary design
A mostly ghostly creature
Who comes and goes from time to time
DAVE
And though I've got some harmonies
I sing your stories by choice
And here's the fist of irony
They only hear... my voice.
But there'd be no “Mission” today
There'd be no “Rats in the Kitchen”
There'd be no “Far Away”
Without your words... my inspiration.
D: I need to use your words again
W: You'll just change them anyway
D: Now it's time to start again.
W: I have these for you today
D: It's a start... I need a pen
W: Here it comes...
DAVE
We'll move this verse, and add a line
Maybe we can change it to three-quarter time
I think we need a little more internal rhyme
Then we'll alliterate and syncopate
And add a bridge and
Just a smidge of
Counterpoint and other shit
Don't bother me, I'm workin' on it
Oh-----!
Then we'll drop a little Rock and Roll-----!
Oh-----!
Gonna drop a little Rock and Roll-----!
W: That's not what I would say!
D: But it scans better that way!
W: But it's not what I would say!
D: I'm so sorry.
W: That's ok.
WILLIAM
There’s no lake, no flowers
Even I may not believe
I ever existed or lived in the towers
Such is my invisibility
D: But there'd be no “Summer Rain”
W: I'm the Invisible Man
D: ...no “Yesterday Hero”
W: Claude Rains and his shadow
D: ...no “Harvey Ray”
W: They all seem to vanish
D: It’s all there in the lines just listen
W: Then appear again in the morning light
W: I often wonder – was it you or was it me?
D: Does it really matter who wrote down the line?
D: It's our songs that people hear, and not our faces see
W: Well, I'm sure whatever you decide is fine.
DAVE:
Lon Chaney had a thousand faces, none of them his own
The art transcends the artist, at least that's what I understand
BOTH:
And you and I've a legacy to call our very own
Conceived by an invisible hand
Conceived by an invisible hand
Behold the Invisible Man!
Behold the Invisible Man!
Behold the Invisible Man!
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11. |
Carbon Footprint
04:07
|
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Uncle Darwin, can you see
What is happening to me?
Evolutionarily
We're starting over
Things have been heating up for years
The rampant greenhouse of our fears
And though the Third World said they didn't start the fires
They fueled them with their sweat and tears
Now on the shore
We say goodbye
To withered hills
And dust-laden sky
And it's getting hard to breathe
We're going to the sea
In the ocean depths we'll dwell
Fins and gills will do just swell
And whether we'll return to see the light of day
Only Time can truly tell
[musical interlude]
Here on Everest Island
I write our wisdom in the sand
So you may know of us, and the measure of our worth
Before the tide reclaims the land
Now on the shore
We say goodbye
To withered hills
And dust-laden sky
And it's getting hard to breathe
We're going to the sea
|
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12. |
It's a Joke, Not a Dick
03:29
|
|||
IT'S A JOKE, NOT A DICK
(don't take it so hard)
====================
Some folks are educated at the School of Hard Knocks.
But Lindyke studied letters where the athletes are called Cocks.
And we protest most strongly on behalf of our beloved jocks
And all of their adoring fans
Spread out to many distant lands
By crass attempts at judge's hands to besmirch their reputations
It seems that multiculturalism
Is excluded by the prism
They employ to spread the jism of their lamentations
(We say "jism" in the sense of "seed"
They spew in hopes that we should heed
Ideas that very honestLY
Are widely "off the reservation")
You see, football is a game in which
The rules REQUIRE we force our way past
Our opponent's strong defence
And thusly penetrate the end zone.
They call this scoring;
Not to be boring,
But it's the difference between warring
And a friendly past time played between some well-informed adults.
And if you find it bears some passing similarity to rape
That's an unfortunate coincidence we simply can't escape
Since the context is quite distinct
The two can't seriously be linked
And must be analyzed with very different results.
"They said no but they meant yes"
Are lyrics in our song invention
Some got it but as for the rest
We'll spell it out, to allay contention
When the Line defends their rear
The "NO!" they cry in their frustration
Is their part to play within the game for which they seek ovation,
But of their own accord they freely chose to play this game,
Thus the "YES!" that is contained in our refrain!
To make it very clear that we intended this to be
We enlisted Cherry Pi to cry enthusiastically
So you might know that this is simply welcome fun
Instead of concluding it was rape and jumping to your gun.
We simply cannot meekly take such nasty, vicious libel
So take a long walk on a short pier and go there to thump your Bible.
Though a scientific mind like yours might not be quite so tribal
(You know, it must be very sad to be an atheist AND a prude
You'd have nothing of your own to thump -- oh wait, I guess you do.)
And to answer one more question
(to our minds, the very best one)
No, we never get tired of sexy fun; if we did we'd be doing it wrong.
But we don't, and that is why we keep it UP so very long.
|
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13. |
HDR
02:54
|
|||
HDR
====
I've got a digital eye
I bought it from a guy
Selling excitement in a blue shirt at Best Buy
I'm gonna capture me
Bits of eternity
I'll freeze some life so I can have a life for all to see
The world is so drab and boring
Hey, but not for me,
'Cause I've got god-like powers,
A telephoto lens - a Photoshop license key
And I know how to HDR
Don't have to deal with things as they are
Supersaturated hues
I've got the bluest blues
In a sky that looks like the sea - yeah
It looks just like the sea - yeah
[instrumental bridge]
I'll make a day-glo sunburst morning
It's my ticket to a new world dawning
I'll recreate the world I see
Electronically, electronically, yeah!
And I know how to HDR
Don't have to deal with things as they are
Supersaturated hues
I've got the bluest blues
The bluest blues!
Yeah!
The world is mine, I'll seize it!
You'll see it as I please it!
With every masterpiece
My Flickr fans will worship me.
Yeah!
The world is mine, I'll seize it!
You'll see it as I please it!
With every masterpiece
My Flickr fans will worship me!
Yeah...
They'll worship me!
Yeah...
I've got a digital eye
They’ll worship me!
I've got a digital eye
They’ll worship me!
I've got a digital eye
They’ll worship me!
|
Dr. Lindyke Union
"Dr. Lindyke" is the nom de plume of William Hoover and Dave Leigh. William writes lyrics; Dave writes music. Though we write a lot, neither of us are really performers, and we LOVE it when people cover our songs. Please do.
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