The Twelve Days of the Campaign

from by Dr. Lindyke

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This is a ghost for Song Fu #5; one of the things they were looking for this year was a Winter Holiday song that's not about the holidays. I'm thinking this one probably wouldn't meet the challenge on technical grounds. This is more of a parody than a brand new song, but nevertheless here it is.

For those that aren't familiar with Dungeons & Dragons, the Dungeon Master (“DM”) is sort of the author and game referee. This is a conversation between Dave ("D") and his son Timothy ("T")

lyrics

The Twelve Days of the Campaign
dave & will leigh

D: Tim, let me tell you about this D&D campaign I'm in.
T: Is it good?
D: Yeah, it's great!
T: Well tell me about it! [music starts] Wait a minute? It's musical?
D: Yep.

On the FIRST day of the campaign my DM gave to me
A Deck of Many Things!

T: Isn't that a lot?
D: Not really.

On the SECOND day of the campaign my DM gave to me
Two spider gloves
and a Deck of Many Things!

T: Don't you mean gloves of spider climbing?
D: yeah, but that doesn't scan.

On the THIRD day of the campaign my DM gave to me
Three chain mail armor
Two spider gloves
and a Deck of Many Things!

T: You do know that's three Decks of Many Things so far, right?
D: Yeah. So?

On the FOURTH day of the campaign my DM gave to me
Four bags of loot
Three chain mail armor
Two spider gloves
And a Deck of Many Things!

T: OK, I sense a pattern. How bout we cut this Monty Haul campaign short. Just skip to the end.
D: you sure?
T: Yep
D: OK.

On the TWELFTH day of the campaign my DM sent at me
Twelve Chromatic Dragons!
Eleven Lich Lords!

T: what!

Ten Cyclops Fighters!

T: say again?

Nine Cave Trolls!
Eight Red Beholders!

T: now wait just a minute!

Seven Hill Giants!
Six Angry Orcs!
FIVE UNDEAD THINGS!

T: Aw, come ON!

Four bags of loot
Three chain mail armor
Two spider gloves
And a Deck of Many Things!

T: you suck.

credits

from Song Fu and Stuff, released March 22, 2010
Lyrics by Dave & William Leigh
Music & Vocals by Dave Leigh
Vocals by Tim Leigh

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Dr. Lindyke Union

"Dr. Lindyke" is the nom de plume of William Hoover and Dave Leigh. William writes lyrics; Dave writes music. Though we write a lot, neither of us are really performers, and we LOVE it when people cover our songs. Please do.

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