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LYRICS
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I hate like the dickens to complain
But these laws drive me insane
You’ll wed vandals and vagrants all the same
Fundamental thought be damned
I'm just like any other man
So forgive me if I just don't play that game.
I thought that from. The. Start.
You were willing to take. My. Part
It seemed all doomed to failure
Until I saw your shooting star
Come on, won’t you marry me
You’re a man of the cloth and your word
And you surely know that I believe
So why don’t you just marry me?
I’m in debt to vermin indeed
I’ll get down upon my knees
I forgive all the folks who may criticize
The closet is a place to hide
Only for the very weak
I mean to hold my head up high
When I’m a-walking down the street
Come on, won’t you marry me
You’re a man of the cloth and your word
And you surely know that I believe
So why don’t you just marry me?
I don’t claim to be. That. Smart.
But you knew right from. The. Start
The courts would rule against me
Once again I’m out of my league
Come on, won’t you marry me
You’re a man of the cloth and your word
And you surely know that I believe
So why don’t you just marry me
Father, why don't you just marry me?
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LYRICS
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Chains!
Chains around my body
I can't move again today
Been this way for seven weeks
But the doc says I'll be OK
Blame!
Blame for my condition
Lies in another's hands
For the dead don't speak and I'm way too weak
To answer their demands
But when the morning comes I'm screaming pain
Yeah I'm real bad hurt, I lost my shirt
Layed-up lucky guy!
First they'll check the pulse, then the stethoscope
Yeah and then when they assign my dope
I'm off the scope
And by 9 o'clock I'm high!
Doctors, nurses and a priest or two
Make passes by my door
They speak in garbled languages
But I'm understanding more
Games are played in many ways
But I think they're catching on
And I fear a discharge coming soon
Then this paradise is gone!
But when the morning comes I'm screaming pain
Yeah I'm real bad hurt, I lost my shirt
Layed-up lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky guy!
First they'll check the pulse, then the stethoscope
Yeah and then when they assign my dope
I'm off the scope
And by 9 o'clock I'm high!
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LYRICS
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Ooo, I was dating a beauty queen
Such a kinky scene!
And with the lipstick and Vaseline®
She was the one
On the bed, on the floor, on the ground.
She said I was the one
On the bed, on the floor, on the ground.
Then to a calling from up above
Oh, I lost my love
She said to me, "Dave I've had enough
Foolin' around.
So bye-bye. Moving to. Holy ground."
My preacher always told me
Be careful what you do
Don't go around payin' for your love
And so I have to ask you
Now what else could I do
To satisfy my lust?
I think I'm 'bout to bust!
Hey, hey!
Billy Jean is made of rubber
She's just a doll I blew up Tuesday for fun!
'Cause my girl became a nun!
Got no air in my lungs
Since my girl became a nun!
She left me breathless in every way
Ooh, I have to say
Just to inflate her took half a day
I don't have a pump
Yeah, I know, what you mean, what a chump.
Uh, so take my strong advice
Just remember to bring your K-Y!
Bring K-Y!
The Reverend Mother just looked at me
Said, “She don't want thee”
She sent me home to my Billy Jean
And we went down
On the bed, on the floor, on the ground.
My preacher always told me
Be careful what you do
Don't go around payin' for your love
And so I have to ask you
Now what else could I do
To satisfy my lust?
I think I'm 'bout to bust!
Hey, hey!
Billy Jean is made of rubber
She's just a doll I blew up Tuesday for fun!
'Cause my girl became a nun!
No, No, Now Uh
No, No, No, No, No
Now, Billy Jean is made of rubber
She's just a doll I blew up Tuesday for fun!
'Cause my girl became a nun!
No, No
Got no air in my lungs
Since my girl became a nun!
Hee Hee Hee
[musical break] (7 measures)
Whhhhh! Whhhh! (inflating noises)
Got no air in my lungs
Since my girl became a nun!
No, No, No
Billy Jean is made of rubber
She's just a doll I blew up
No, it ain't just Tuesday, baby!
No, No, No
No, No
'Cause my girl became a nun!
No, No
You know what you did
breakin' my heart baby!
Billy Jean is made of rubber!
Billy Jean is made of rubber!
Billy Jean is made of rubber!
Billy Jean is
I call her Billie Jean!
It's such a kinky scene!
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LYRICS
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Old Dr. Lindyke blesses his scalpel
As he peels up an apple
And puts it away.
Saving the peeling he looks at the ceiling,
He keeps all he can for a cold rainy day.
The insipid old doctor gathers his patients,
All tired and waiting
And too underpaid
Urgent indeed and beginning to bleed,
He shudders the thought and sends them to pray.
Dear Dr. Lindyke approaches the olive
Which he finds hard to swallow
On his long coffee break.
Soaking his hands in another man's wallet
He looks to the window for something to say.
Oh, Dr. Lindyke. is this your story
Malpractice and glory and gory details?
Yes, Dr. Lindyke only you have the courage;
So what's there to worry if the aging hand fails?
Appointments and ointments grieve Dr. Lindyke
As he sits up at midnight
And dreams of the dead.
All of the graves through the years he has made
Walk up the staircase and out of his head.
Old Dr. Lindyke carries a strange knife,
Laughs at an odd laugh
By the light of the moon
He seems to be caring but nonetheless daring
To operate blindly with the blade of a spoon.
Oh, Dr. Lindyke. is this your story
Malpractice and glory and gory details?
Yes, Dr. Lindyke only you have the courage;
So what's there to worry if the aging hand fails?
He now washes rose from an old table cloth
After surgery lost all
The prestige he once had
He scrubs up a last time to clean up some cheap wine
Which isn't as sweet now the doctor's gone mad.
Oh, Dr. Lindyke. is this your story
Malpractice and glory and gory details?
Yes, Dr. Lindyke only you have the courage;
So what's there to worry if the aging hand fails?
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